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Title: Where the Boys Aren't #13  
Reviewer: Mars  
Overall rating: A
Female looks: A
Male looks: n/a
Sex: A
Plot/Acting: B
Extras: A
A/V Quality: A



Where the Boys Aren''''t 13

Reviewer: Mars

Overall Rating: A

Female Looks: A

Male Looks: N/A

Sex: A

Plot/Acting: B

Extras: A+

A/V Quality: A


Director: Eddie Edwards

Starring: Alex Taylor, Janine, Raylene, Devon, Jenteal, Taylor Hayes, Julia Ann, Kobe Tai, Dyanna Lauren, Sky

Sound: A

Picture: A-


Let me just say it outright, Where the Boys Aren''''t 13 is the best all-girl feature I''''ve seen in at least 10 years. Maybe it just hit me at the right time, but my bet is that it''''s really that good. The plot is simple, it''''s Jenteal''''s bachlorette party and all her friends are coming over. However, wonder of wonders, the writer actually took the time to characterize each of the friends, from Janine''''s spoiled actress character, to Raylene''''s sullen pill-popper role. Mind you, we don''''t get really deep characters, but the women can actually be differentiated from one another by their roles rather then by hair color and boob job size.


It begins with Jenteal having second thoughts about marriage while Sky tries to find a stripper for the party. Women start arriving, giving you a quick glimpse of what''''s to come, and meet and greet. Kobe and Devon show up and Kobe tells Devon that they can''''t reveal that they''''re lesbian lovers yet ''''cause their friends would freak. The couple is shown to a room and they start to get it on immediately.

      After some quick kisses and nipple sucking, Devon goes down on Kobe who squeals with abandon. They both have fake tits, but it suits Devon much more than Kobe (who has an amazingly flat body). Devon gets head next and gives a lot of encouragement. The two of them make great noise together; they''''re having a good time. After Kobe fucks Devon hard with a dildo, Sky walks into the open door (because if want to hide being a lesbian you should always keep the door wide open while you fuck) and reveals that she and Kobe used to be lovers. For old time''''s sake, Sky eats Kobe''''s pussy while Devon watches. Sky is good at it, period. Her tongue works magic as Kobe goes crazy. When the dildo gets used on her, she''''s gone, fucking wildly against the rubber dong. Devon sits on her face and they 69. The women are making a racket, grunting and moaning. Plus, the multiple angle feature is used very well here (and throughout the movie). Fade away and onto more fun.


A few more guests arrive while the others watch one of Dyanna''''s movies (her character''''s a director, and in real life she''''s a director. How ironic is that?) in the living room. A fight erupts and Alex, Dyanna, Raylene, and Taylor are left alone. Alex puts on music and strips down. She''''s got very fake tits and a very well built body, muscled and lithe. She freaks Dyanna, gets on her hands, and wraps her legs around Dyanna''''s head for some tongue loving. Raylene and Taylor are busy on the couch, with Raylene kneeling on the floor and pistoning her whole body as she tongue fucks Taylor. They are all incredibly hot and very much into the sex. It becomes a grunting, groaning, nasty porn scene that, as soon as it was over, I watched again. Taylor is wild, fingering her own ass whenever she''''s being eaten. She pushes Raylene down across the couch and spanks her before roughly fingering her snatch and tongue fucking her ass. Words do not do it justice. Dyanna is getting a spanking and eating from Alex, and she helps finger Taylor''''s holes with Raylene. A few finger DP''''s are exchanged and the scene fades with much screaming and moaning. The scene left me exhausted just from watching it. The electricity between the girls was crackling throughout the whole thing. And it''''s only one of the three best scenes in the film.


Outside, Julia Ann tries to talk Jenteal out of getting married. Taylor claims that Julia is just bitter and needs love. "Why don''''t you give her love, Jenteal?" she says. Jen and Julia start kissing as Taylor watches and fingers herself. After clothes are shed, Jenteal laps at Julia''''s cunt and, judging by the noises Julia makes, it''''s a good thing. Not to be left out, Taylor sits on Julia''''s face. There''''s more good use of the multi-angles during this scene. Being able to switch to close-ups or long shots is a boon. The bundle of naked girls in the sun gets better with some nastiness thrown in. Jenteal forces Taylor''''s head between Julia''''s legs and hold her hair while she licks and sucks. Taylor and Jenteal both slide fingers into Taylor''''s cunt for some nice action and then Julia rolls Taylor over and holds her while Jen continues fingering. The high point is when Jenteal gets eaten by Julia. Her reactions are very sexy as she shudders and slowly rubs her own nipples. Taylor takes the opportunity to spank and finger fuck Julia''''s ass. The scene fades away after they all kiss.


At the kitchen table, Janine tells Raylene about her latest movie, reciting lines that lead to a deep kiss. It gets steamy as they grope and strip while lip-locked. Ray stands, facing the camera, and Janine gets into her pants to finger her. They play with each other while standing for a few minutes, and then it gets to the really good stuff. Raylene gets on the table and Janine sits down to eat. Janine only works with women and she''''s very, very good at it. The multi-angles are great, once again, and watching Raylene shake and gasp, with her eyes rolled back in pleasure, is an enormous turn on. Janine then focuses on fingering Raylene''''s every hole and then gets a lucite dildo to fuck her ass with. The anal action is hot. Raylene takes the big plug on all fours as Janine rubs her to orgasm, complete with curled toes and screams. Then it''''s Janine''''s turn, she gets on the table and takes a dildo DP that Raylene uses to screw her into the table. And that''''s the second of the three best scenes.


The final segment, and the third or the three best scenes, is the obligatory orgy in the yard at night. Usually, orgy scenes do little for me. There are too many things to concentrate on and it just becomes a jumble. This one, though, makes the grade. The girls are in a constant hyper state throughout the orgy. There are screams and moans through the whole scene. Cries of "Is that Dyanna in my pussy?" and demands for certain people to do certain things. They are having a hell of a party and we get ringside seats. The best part, however, is Janine and Devon who are a little ways off from the main pile of girl-flesh. Janine pushes Devon around; holding her down as she eats her snatch, yanking on her bra to keep her still. At one point, Janine stacks Taylor on top of Devon and licks them both in long strokes. Hot, hot, hot. There is other action that is just as steamy, but I couldn''''t possibly describe it all.

      Except, of course, the whip cream fight. Cans of whip cream are passed out and the women become a naked, sugar coated nymphs. Lordy, this must fulfill someone''''s fantasy. The scene, and movie, ends with a garden hose being passed around as the starlets take turns spraying each other in slow motion. It''''s heaven for the 14 year old boy in all of us.


OVERALL: Without waxing too rhapsodic, Where the Boys Aren''''t 13 is a grade A movie. Even folks who aren''''t big fans of all-girl features will find this flick to be a turn on. It''''s not pretentious, it''''s not over acted or over produced, it''''s just full of great, sexy, raunchy sex. Buy this disc.


EXTRAS: Almost too numerous to mention. There is a second disc in the package stuffed with extra porn footage to supplement the already bulging first disc''''s extras. Counting both discs there are a total of 16 scenes from other flicks, 24 full previews, clips and sound bites from the Vivid girls (the Meet the Girls feature on the main disc is great, with promotional "screen tests" of 8 Vivid Girls), Outtakes and Bloopers, plus a whole section of Virtual Sex style action with Kobe Tai. Whew. Buy the disc, you won''''t need another for a month.


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