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Title: The World's Luckiest Black Man  
Reviewer: Nick Nite  
Overall rating: C-
Female looks: n/a
Male looks: n/a
Sex: n/a
Plot/Acting: n/a
Extras: A
A/V Quality: n/a
 

Review:

Two words: Stay away. Remember how tedious "The World''s Luckiest Man" was? Remember how the box cover lied to you, teasing you that all those luscious babes pictured lining up to service Jon Dough were REALLY THE ONES INSIDE? Remember how cheated you felt? This is worse. No harm meant toward Mr. Marcus, who does his best here with some skanky chicks no one need ever see and who is super-cool in the way that he looks like a Shaq Jr. But one guy getting off a half-dozen times over some sluts who aren''t worth ogling, much less whacking off to, doesn''t compensate. The set-up is that Mr. Marcus is the master Valentino-style lover who rules his harem with a soft touch and a big dick. If every kinda ho is your bag, then this is your flick, ''cause you see just about every sort of woman you''ve ever wanted to lay eyes on -- some with big tits, some with little ones; some with nasty, hairy, mysterious pussies, some with sleek, trimmed, wet designer ones; some who''ll suck Mr. Marcus like they''re siphoning gasoline out of an Exxon tanker, some who lay back and count the minutes until this mess is over. Oh, and there are lots of fat chicks too, if you need that to get pumped up. There are, of course, a handful of fantastic black beauties with tasty booties who will take Mr. Marcus'' constantly condomed cock straight up their bungholes.And there are some delicious white girls and Asian tarts who suck and fuck pretty solidly and eat pussy nicely. But it all starts to blur together after a while, and only the true porn connoisseur will be able to tell many of the tramps apart. Myself, after about 30 minutes, I had boiled it down to this: "Oh, there''s the freaky black chick again." "Oh, that''s the bleach blond one who likes to lick his balls." "Oh, that''s the ass-twitching Latina who should be in a real movie." "Oh, that''s the redhead who''s pussy creams harder than a soft-serve machine." "Oh, that''s the tasty ebony babe who likes her asshole licked." "Oh, that''s the Jamie Lee Curis lookalike." "Oh, that''s the Celine Dion lookalike (and that ain''t pretty)." "Oh, there''s the fat check who must weigh 400 pounds (not being mean, just honest) and all she gets to do is suck him." "Oh, there''s the Marica Clark lookalike who takes it up the ass (damn, why couldn''t it just BE Marcia Clarke; this might have been worth checking out then)." "Oh, there''s the blond with so many tattoos you can''t find her real skin anymore." "Oh, there''s the Morticia Adams lookalike." "Oh, there''s the Taylor Dayne lookalike sucking cock like a pro." "Oh, there''s the Sally Kirkland big-titted blondie type who takes a nice cumshot." "Oh, there''s the one who looks like she''s 12 (ecch!)." Look, it''s just one long cavalcade of flesh and most of it is about as interesting as picking the wings off a fly. My fantasies are hotter than this -- and in them I''m a much luckier man than Mr. Marcus is here. For starters, I DO get Marcia Clark and Sally Kirkland (and Susan Sarandon and a few other choice older babes) as well as every girl who appeared in Club International in 1997. I think I''ll stick to that.  
 
 

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