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Title: Texas' Asshole Massacre  
Reviewer: Kid Cocky  
Overall rating: A
Female looks: A
Male looks: B
Sex: A
Plot/Acting: A
Extras: A
A/V Quality: A


Texas Asshole Massacre
Reviewer: Kid Cocky


Texas' Asshole Massacre
138 Mins.
Evolution Erotica
THEMES: Porn Chicks, Sluts, Comedy
STARS: Kami Andrews, Gia Paloma, Kat, Isabel, Kelly Wells, Kris, Sascha, Alias, Dirty Harry,

My buddy Roger reviewed this movie a few months ago, and he rated it a little differently that I did. For an overall rating, he gave this thing a "B." By contrast, I am giving Ivan''s Massacre an "A." Now, I have to admit that I have the utmost respect for Roger T. Pipe as a reviewer. In fact, IF there is one man with more knowledge of porn reviewing that I have, it is Mr. Pipe. I think it simply boils down to the fact that he and I have slightly different taste in porn.
One of the most amazing parts of this movie is the cast. I love the cast. Gia Paloma, Kelly Wells, and Kami Andrews have amazing talent. I love these three girls. I think they are great looking, energetic, creative performers. They are the primary reason that I give the female cast an "A" for looks. Although all three girls are amazing, I believe that Kami carries this movie. The first scene starts off as an infomercial with Kami acting as "Texas." She does the entire scene, nonstop, and is completely hilarious. She''s great. I would watch this scene even if there wasn''t any porn in this movie. She should get an award for her performance.
Next up are a couple good scenes with Gia and Isabel Ice. I could give you a blow by blow, but you can just believe me that they are good scenes. To be creative, one of the scenes works a bowl of chili into it. This is a play on one of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre sequel plots where innocent victims are turned into chili. Although I probably missed a few of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre references, I like that this video parodies a real horror movie. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one of the most disturbing and classic horror movies of all time. It is pretty interesting to see how Ivan is able to parody many of the scenes. The final scene of Kami chasing a girl down with a giant dildo is a hilarious tribute to the Tobe Hooper classic.
For you ass-to-mouth fans, there is plenty of it. Some people don''t like to see much of that sideshow sort of thing, but you will like this movie if you are into that. I would also like to mention that this movie has a enjoyable plot to it. In fact, I was able to watch it without needing to hit the fast forward button. That''s pretty impressive because I haven''t done that in years. In fact, I would have to say that this is probably the most enjoyable movie that I have seen this year. Kudos, Ivan.
Another enjoyable aspect of this movie is that the sex scenes are extreme and dirty, but the cast seems to really enjoy themselves. The behind the scenes show that the people in the movie are not treated like animals, and the cast seems to get along pretty well. This is similar to the environment that Kylie Ireland has in many of her films. I don''t know about you, but I enjoy a movie a lot more when I get the feeling that the cast are genuinely enjoying themselves.
All-in-all, this is a great movie. Ivan and Kami deliver. I hope we see them working together again.
Kid Cocky
Super Fly Soul Brotha''



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