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Title: Kelly The Coed  
Reviewer: Natalie Dawn  
Overall rating: B
Female looks: n/a
Male looks: n/a
Sex: n/a
Plot/Acting: n/a
Extras: A
A/V Quality: n/a


I knew girls like this in college. Hell, I WAS this girl in college from time to time. Not that I think I''m any great shakes in the looks department (though you guys who have written certainly know how to flatter a girl), when I wanted to play the slut at school, I had more than a few offers to ride the hobby horse, if you know what I mean. Guys are so easy! Just hint that you might suck their dick and they''re all over you. Anyway, that''s beside the point. Well, not really. "Kelly the Coed" is both male fantasy cum true as well as a few female fuck excursions relived -- and I thoroughly enjoyed almost every minute of it. Even though it has the worst writing ever. Even though it is the worst-acted flick I''ve seen in ages. (And that''s counting the dubbed Euro trash I''ve seen lately.) Apart from the sex, it''s just plain awful. But who''s watching this for anything other than the sex? The film involves Kelly, who prances about in a short-short plaid school uniform, thigh-high socks and a Britney Spears expression (were Britney begging to get stuffed full of manmeat, that is). She''s new to school, she tells us, and is eager to meet new people. Little does she know. Two cuties (men, that is) approach her and invite her to rush their frat/sorority at a coming party ... or is that "cumming party," as virtually everyone is about to unleash a mighty load. Kelly ponders it, then gets talked into it by her pal Holly (the lovely Gwen Summers). Meanwhile, it''s back to her dorm for some rest ... but no, her roomate Delia is busy bopping one of the local studs. And quite well, I might add. Kelly, about as dim as they come (it takes her ages, seemingly, to notice that two people are FUCKING on her bed), excuses herself and lets us get down to some nasty action. Delia is a perky little blondie babe with great tits and an unstoppable pussy. She takes on her young stud hardcore, bumping and grinding with unbelievable force. Unfortunately, this gets interrupted by football coach Tyce Bune, who comes in blustering some pathetic lines about saving yourself for the big game and how Delia shouldn''t be selling herself short like this, fucking every guy in town. Oh, what does Tyce know? Delia likes her snatch filled at all times, and soon she has the coach shut up, naked and down her throat -- right where he belongs. The fucking her is outstanding, with some great extreme closeups putting our faces right up close to that whory work. Only downside is no cumshot! From either stud! What the hell is up with that? There''s no way in the world a wild slut like Delia would settle for this. Of course, she finishes things off taking Tyce up her tight bunghole while on all fours ... that can''t be taken for granted. But no cumshot? That''s just plain un-American and un-collegiate. In the meantime, Kelly has ventured over to Jay''s dorm room to see what her study partner is up to. Screw textbooks, though, Jay is busy trying to master the art of quarters. Within no time he''s got it down pat, as he''s turned the game into a strip version. Kelly starts losing clothes left and right, and just when Jay is about to lose his pants, she just reaches in, pulls that big boner and enjoys a snack. Granted, she needs some food and beverages to go with it, as Kelly chows down on some pizza and swills some beer throughout the fuck. Some of this gets nastier later, like spewing beer onto a cock and licking it up. That got me hot. This? Well, I found myself laughing more than reaching for my trusty vibrator -- first because Kelly seems out of it from all the beer, secondly because I was getting out of it courtesy of beer (and other assorted intoxicating aids) myself, and thirdly because Kelly has one freaky feature. She has no tits, which is not the freaky part; girls with tiny tits can turn a lot of people on, and I''m not making fun of that. Rather, Kelly has this uni-tan over her entire body. With no tan lines to speak of, it makes her chest seem even more boyish and almost unhuman. She''s just one long stretch of golden flesh. I don''t know, maybe that''ll get you guys hard. But me? I couldn''t stop chuckling. Still, when the camera is on her super-cute face or her tight snatch, this is great stuff. And the cumshot is a keeper. On to the frat party, which has become (no surprise) a toga party! Kelly shows up amid about a dozen guys, selects her two and perpares to do the deed. But not before catching ultra-hottie Mazzi on the stariway giving head to three studs. There''s no hardcore fucking here, just a three-in-one blowjob that is unbelievable (and a girl''s wet dream ... oh, to have so much cock in my face!) The redhaired cutie takes them all on, first all at once and then one by one, as they unload splash after splash onto her face. If you don''t like cum facials (and if you don''t, why are you watching porn), you won''t dig this. If you love the sight of a cutie pie with big tits and sticky goo running down her face, you must see this! Kelly, meanwhile, has moved into a bedroom with her two studs, who make no haste in disrobing her and poking at her every hole. Again, Kelly''s body leaves a little to be desired with me, but give her credit where it''s due ... which is directly in her two holes, where she takes each cock. This girl knows how to do a double-penetration scene and isn''t afraid to let her pleasure show. I was very impressed, as well as thoroughly turned on by yet another round of cum flying in the air and onto a pretty face. As the party rages on, Holly (remember Gwen, very pretty, very sexy) comes looking for Kelly, but stumbles into the Big Man on Campus. (You can figure out where he got that name, can''t you?) He says he can help Holly rush the frat if she does him a little favor ... one that involves the widening of her mouth and the expert use of her tongue. Holly drops to her knees dutifully and begins to work his mammoth tool down her throat. And my God, we''re talking a big cock here. Plenty of fleshy love to go around. Holly gives a great oral workout to it, and by the end she''s got her dress hiked up showing off her cute cotton panties and her sexy ass. Guys, you''ll love it. It''s everything you want out of the girl next door but rarely get. And the facial finish is excellent as well. Kelly, though, isn''t finished. She wanders off to the bathroom, where she finds some drunk peeing. Noticing how out of it he is (he''ll never remember in the morning) and still hungry for dick, Kelly grabs hold and starts sucking. Before too long, she''s received yet another load to nosh on. A little later, however, Kelly get a comeuppance, when she stumbles upon the same two studs who DP''d her earlier now taking on Asian temptress Annabelle Chong. Now, Annabelle has always been as wanton a slut as you can find, but sometimes she''s too hard on the eyes. Not here. Just dig the hip haircut, the stylized bod and the healthy dicking she takes. Kelly and Holly walk in on this cozy threeway and are astonished (as if! like they weren''t getting cock left and right themselves) and walk away in disgust. The guys (being guys) don''t give a fuck and just keep on with their business, doubly penetrating Annabelle, riding her like a toy pony and then coating her face in cum. It''s a fittingly hot finish to a stupidly told but sexily executed fuck flick. Don''t come looking for great story, or even clever fantasy. And don''t bring your girl to this one unless she''s a) a horny babe like me; or b) plenty tipsy and ready to reveal to you her wildest fuck memories. Either way, if you''re a guy with an unstoppable libido, this will tide you over good.  

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