| Dillion's Ass Crackin' #4
MOVIE TYPE: All Sex
DIRECTOR: Dillion Day
THEMES: Anal, Euro chicks
STARS: Thalia, Angel Dark, Jennifer, Natalli, Lucy, and Jane Darling
Reviewed by: Loomis
While this is the first of this series that I have reviewed, I will start out by saying that I hate the name. Ass Crackin'? You must be kidding me. It reminds me of that fake Onion story about the "Buttfuck Sluts Go Nuts" movie. (The Onion is a parody newspaper initially started in my hometown of Madison, WI). For one thing, the name seems to dictate that the film is a "Straight to the A" affair, which it is not. Personally, I like to see some pussy-poking first, but maybe I am just plain old-fashioned.
From the name alone, I was ready to dislike this movie. But with Angel Dark on the cover, I had to give it a real chance. I think that Angel Dark is one of the best things going in the smut business-a brunette with a beautiful face and a do-anything attitude. The things that she is willing to do are also done with what I feel is the most perfect body in porn today. She is sorta my new Jessica Darling.
Back to the current film, shall we? The first scene starts off with Jane Darling, a lovely blonde girl from the Czech Republic with a great pair of tits that can be equated to the best rack that you have ever seen. She gropes herself a bit, and then JJ and Dillon Day come in. She gets to work quickly, sucking both dongs with equal abandon. She then leans over to suck one and takes Dillion straight up her ass. She does not seem disappointed by this to any extent, and in fact it appears as if this was what she was hoping for. I like that in a woman. DD then does some anal-to-vag, which I have never cared for. The fellas do equal damage on her sphincter until the obligatory DP footage sets in. There is some A2M, but mostly it is just variations on the two-hole poke that we all know about.
She does get down on her knees and does some great load-taking on her face for the finale, though. The post-pop footage is entirely too short, however.
Angel Dark is up next, and I have already told you what my feelings are about this woman. She has her hair pulled up for this scene, and that only serves to make her more beautiful. DD does some tongue-lashing and then her job starts. Angel probably does not give the best head in the porn business, but the fact that we get to watch her do it is reward enough. Her throat is ample, and she shies away from all of the drooling and self-choking that has become so popular in this day and age. After she feels that the wiener is lubricated enough, she takes a cowgirl with these really sexy high heels on her feet. She works hard at taking every bit of meat offered her way, and then slides it out for a P2M interlude.
Doggy follows this, and Angel appears to be enjoying every inch. Some standing anal follows some spoon anal. She opens her mouth to take DD's load (but he misses) and this is just another fantastic effort by this slutbomb. Believe me, if you have not seen this woman work in this industry, you are really missing out.
The next scene stars Jennifer, a small-boobied girl with a fantastic face. She is an auburn blonde with a really tight body, and DD decides to explore that body with his tongue in her most intricate folds. She is enthusiastic with her head, but pretty shallow in her effort. She makes no real attempt to get anything past her teeth, and that is a little bit lame. She is a screamer when the fucking begins though, and she is willing to do some P2M. When the action moves to anal, she really gets vocal. I do have to admit that her smile during the assfucking is really lovely to see. Dillon sprays a load near her mouth, but certainly not into it. She seems a little disappointed by that. The worst thing about this scene is the fact that when it ends, the dude is still jerking off. There is no chance for any post-pop sucking because he had barely stopped letting go of the man-juice when the scene is abruptly cut. That is ridiculous.
The next scene has Thalia paired with Joe Friday. She is a rail-thin girl with long curly brown hair. I'm reasonably certain that her legs start somewhere near the nape of her neck. She plays with herself a little before Joe comes in to lick her clit and finger her box. She takes those fingers into her mouth and seems to like the taste, as this is repeated several times. Her head looks great but she seems pretty anxious to consume that meat with her other holes. Joe is one of those new-fangled porn dudes that is always asking the girl to spit on his cock.
Personally, I am bored to tears by that. I guess I just do not really understand the point. She takes a mean pussy workout before putting it in her mouth again, and this is good. She repeats the same with various anal positions and the A2M finish is really good as well, but again is cut way too short. Overall, this is a winner, though.
Second to last is Lucy, who gets double-teamed by JJ and Dillion. Lucy is a really cute blonde with smallish boobs and a really tight body. After a brief cunnilingus interlude, she does a quick double BJ. This lasts about 8 seconds before she gets down to business. Lucy is very talented, able to take a hard poke from behind, rub her clit in a very sexy way and still deliver some great head. The guys switch off between her mouth and her pussy for a while until it is time for more dual BJ action. She takes a ride in cowgirl before the DP starts, but she is vocal and enthusiastic throughout the entire scene. Her facial at the end (from both guys) is really great, and her smile is priceless.
The last scene is Natalli and Joe Friday. This is one of those overly long scenes that starts out with the girl looking so beautiful at the beginning that you would sell your car for a dollar to sleep with her. Unfortunately, by the end she looks like a girl that would have a tough time getting a dollar for a BJ. She is an absolutely gorgeous blonde that has a fantastic rack and a very well toned body.
By the time that the requisite vag, anal, and piledriver facial have all occurred, she looks almost mannish. It would have been a good idea to break a couple of times for makeup with this one. I understand that there is a sense of realism that comes along with no interruptions during a scene, but the whole Jeckyll/Hyde thing that is present in this one is sort of a turn-off.
Overall, this is a good film, and you cannot go wrong with a purchase.