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Title: Road to Atlantis  
Reviewer: Loomis  
Overall rating: B
Female looks: A
Male looks: B
Sex: B
Plot/Acting: B
Extras: B
A/V Quality: A
 

Review:

Road to Atlantis
MOVIE TYPE: Feature
100 Mins.
Hustler Video
DIRECTOR: Frank Thring
THEMES: Anal, girl/girl, three-way, facials
CONDOMS: None
2003
STARS: Andy Brown, Dark Angel, Sarah Blue, Patricia, Julia Crow, and Jasmin

Reviewed by: Loomis

I guess that I am not really sure about the target demographic associated with this picture. There are stunning vistas, some competent actors, actual storylines and intense and nasty fuck scenes. This is not a couples film, although it sort of seems that it is angled toward that market.

OK, apparently some dude is going to try to find Atlantis, umm that one lost underwater city or something. All right, I skipped through all of the dialogue scenes. Contact my lawyer.

I think Frank Gun is the guy. His girlfriend sends him off with a fantastic "something-to-remember-her-by" parting fuck. I think the girl is Andy Brown.

She is brunette and has a lovely and all-natural body. Her face is quite attractive as well. She does a fine job of eating at the meat bar and then takes all that he has in most of the standard vag positions. No anal here, but the stuff looks good enough that it certainly is no letdown at all. She finishes with a great facial that she appears to be barely able to wait for. There's something to be said for that. This woman looks great with a face full of man juice.

The next scene has Dark Angel in the female lead (she was called Angel Dark in Please Don't Tell My Daddy). Amazingly enough, I think she looks almost better here. The fellow, George Uhl, laps her box and then goes straight into missionary. Angel does not actually work her mouth on any manpole until about ten minutes into the scene, but it is really worth waiting for when she removes it from her dripping box to replace that lovely pussy with her face. She takes it in two positions of anal as well, until it is time for the pop. Mr. Uhl takes a long time, and I hate that.

Just as a quick side note-is anyone else sick of seeing dudes not being able to get off while furiously stroking their meat in front of the face of a beautiful woman? I think that either this footage used to be cut out and directors have gotten lazy, or that Viagra/wood-deadening cream is fucking up the porn industry. If I wanted to watch ten minutes of whacking with no payoff, I'd videotape myself thinking of Cher's dried-up gash.

Next up is a fantasy lesbo scene with Angel Dark witnessing two Greek goddesses going at it. This is passable at best. They lick each other before the obligatory glass dildos come out. I'm quite sick of those too, and I cannot imagine that they are pleasurable to a woman. But hey, I could be wrong on that, especially given the recent popularity of the new asbestos-and-SOS-pad-lined pocket pussies. Sheesh.

The two dudes from the first two scenes then share Angel. She does not have much energy, although she takes a great DP and still looks like a princess while taking the facials at the end. This scene is just a wee bit too pretty for regular fellers like me. It is shot on a bluff with a sunset and ocean view, and there are cuts from the action to admire the scenery. That is always a mistake.

Last up is an orgy with every one heretofore mentioned. There is a lot of anal with sexy women, but none of the scenes take place in the same location, so it appears (as many orgy scenes do) very disjointed and all over the place. It just does not really get the job done. There is almost an obligation on the behalf of directors to end features with an orgy, but I think that the device has been used to death now. Let it rest.

Like I stated before, who the target audience is escapes me a bit. Most girls I have dated would not watch this, but that's maybe more of a comment on most girls that I have dated.

I would rather watch an all-sex film, to be honest.

  

 
 

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