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Title: Troubled Love  
Reviewer: Mr. Fart  
Overall rating: C+
Female looks: A
Male looks: B
Sex: C-
Plot/Acting: C-
Extras: C+
A/V Quality: A


Troubled Love

Troubled Love is the story of some hot wife who's husband would rather work than stick around home and fuck her all day. This is a common plot for many porn movies and one that probably makes the least sense. Poor Asia Carrera, she's got a body that's probably worth a million bucks or more, and her dopey man only stuck his cock in her once.

While Husband Dipshit is running around on the beach (I think he's supposed to be working), Hot Wife Asia gets fustrated, interrupts her friend's shower, and day dreams about an ex-boyfriend and how great he was.

I'm not sure why she was so impressed with this dude (although he did have a boat). She fucks him in exactly the same manner as she fucked Husband Moron: she gets eaten out, fingered, she cums. She sucks the dude for a bit. She sits on his cock, gets fucked. She lies on her back, spreads her legs, gets fucked. The dude cums on her stomach. I'm left wondering how she knew the difference between Boat Boyfriend and Husband Retard.

I'm not really too sure what happened during most of the movie, cuz I skipped around alot. What can I say? I just wasn't enthralled.

All the old porno cliches are there: shitty acting, ridiculous dialogue, awful royalty-free music. The fucking is formulaic and kinda boring. I think Troubled Love is supposed to be one of those softer "couples" movies....so the fucking is pretty normal for the most part.

Everyone looks exactly how you'd expect in a movie with this sort of budget. The girls are all very pretty, with long legs, nice tits (tastefully enhanced), perfect skin, etc. As is the norm with porno, the guys are all interchangeable. They all are muscular, have the exact same tan, all of them are red faced and look like they're ready to drop dead at any moment. About the only thing that differentiates the guys is that the tattoos change.

I don't know what else to say, really. I'd have a hard time recommending any DVD to someone looking for images of people fucking, let alone this one. There wasn't that much to it: the movie itself was boring, and while most of the girls were really hot, the sex was dull. There wasn't any fun extras on the DVD...just a picture gallery that I couldn't get working properly. I was hoping for maybe a director's commentary or something like that, but nope.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Monica is going to give me more movies to review in the future, so I guess I better get used to this. Maybe I'll come across something more interesting. Stay tuned.
This review was created while listening to:
Pigface, "Easy Listening...For Difficult Fuckheads"
Bjork, "Homogenic"



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