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Title: Legal Skin 14  
Reviewer: Kid Cocky  
Overall rating: B
Female looks: A
Male looks: B
Sex: B
Plot/Acting: B
Extras: C-
A/V Quality: A


Legal Skin #14

Kid Cocky-

Time- 80
Company- Smash Pictures
Director- Jordan Heart
Cast- Mya Diamand, Jennifer, Amanda, Dorina, Judy White, Mandy Bright, Nikky Blond
Legal Skin:
I guess I was expecting too much. Maybe I've seen to much good porno. Maybe my brain has come to expect the hardcore videos that push girls to their limits and challenge my sense of decency. Maybe I long for the days of beautiful natural American porn. Is it going to take another celebrity porn video to get my cock off? Even these beautiful women didn't excite me much when I watched this last night.
Truly, I had a great night when I watched this video, but it wasn't the video that made it great. I reviewed it with a friend of mine. She is a former stripper, and she gave me a wonderful lap dance before we popped this DVD into the player, and we had every intention of cumming several times last night.
First we watched the bonus footage, but we were sadly surprised to see that there wasn't much available on the disc. The previews were boring, and most of which showed nothing more than topless girls. Not that there is anything wrong with topless girls, but this is porno. I want to see previews that show the best pop shots, the most extreme penetrations, and the wettest genitals.
So we watched the video, and the girls were beautiful. However, I totally expected them to be young. When Hustler puts together video of Barely Legal girls, they find girls who look seventeen. They put them in braids, have them wear retainers, have them put on their high school jackets, and let the viewer think about the high school days when he or she was still innocently seeking to touch a breast.
These girls weren't like that. I guess that is why Smash pictures doesn't have the same reputation that Hustler does. These girls were gorgeous, but they were probably in their early twenties. They had Brazilian bikini waxes, realistic fake breasts, beautiful dyed hair, and all of the essential plastic surgery to make it into porn. I just don't remember seeing girls like this in high school. It's probably my fault for thinking that the girls would look "barely legal." The box cover just promises "Legal Skin." Legal means that they could be anywhere from eighteen to eighty. (Anything older than that is probably illegal anyway.)
So the video was good. It really was. But if it wasn't for my girlfriend giving me head throughout the first two scenes though, I probably wouldn't have cum. It just lacked excitement. These girls were obviously having sex to make a paycheck. We've all had sex before that was bland, so I can't blame them, but it wasn't anything special. The ladies did all the right things, but you could tell that their hearts weren't into it.
There were two threesomes, a DP, lots of anal, lesbians, and a gaping asshole. That kind of stuff usually gets an A rating in my book. The problem was that it was vanilla sex. My girl and I were bored by the end of the movie. In fact, we threw another video in (by her request) so that we'd have something to get her off. (Subsequently, we had hard raunchy sex after the other video.)
I wrote this song after watching this video.
It should be sung to the tune of Bonnie Tyler's "I need a Hero."
Where have all the good stars gone
with hair in golden locks?
Where's the street-wise Jenna
To fight the rising Cocks?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need
I need some porno
I'm holding out for some porno 'til the end of the night
It's gotta be strong
And it's gotta be fast
And it's gotta have pussy that's tight.
I need some porno
I'm holding out for some porno 'til the morning light
It's gotta be wet
And it's gotta be soon
And it's gotta be larger than life

Kid Cocky
"Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night."

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