|Jail Babes #18
Overall Rating- D
Female Looks- C
Male Looks- F
A/V Quality- C
Director- Elliot Heathcoat & Rick Rage
Cast- Brandy, Candy Cotton, Shanna McCullough, Elizabeth X, Mia, Miko Lee, a shitload of ugly men
Review- When I first got this movie I was very skeptical about the concept. I just assumed all these people would make up stories about how they were arrested for real crimes. Or, barring that, it would be really stupid stuff like jaywalking. Well, I was half right. When the girls told the stories they seemed to be telling the truth in most cases, so I believed them. And the ones dealing with possession or sexual misconduct are fairly legitimate crimes. They had to throw in a speeding violation and a bullshit crime (see Shanna below), but at least the premise is interesting. That's where this movie fails though. It relies too heavily on the premise, and not on the action. If I were watching just to watch the girls talk I would be interested. Too bad most of the girls aren't that great looking and NONE of the men are. I don't know where they drug up most of the guys, but I would guess it's from the nearest gutter.
Brandy is a 21-year-old girl who was supposedly arrested for possession and distribution of marijuana. True? Hell if I know. While she's doing a voiceover describing how she was arrested it shows her stripping and sitting on a weight bench fingering herself. Did I mention that Brandy is very, very hot? She's a brunette and looks very good naked. Her full name is actually Brandi Lyons. I've seen it spelled differently before, just like every porn actress. Brandy has a curse. That curse is her husband. I've never seen her in a movie before without her husband in it, and this is about the fifth time I've seen her. Her husband is terrifying looking. He weighs about 100 pounds, but he's tall. He looks like a pale skeleton with a ponytail, and it's very unpleasant to see him in the movie. In addition to discussing her arrest record she tells the camera the things that turn her on and what she likes in bed. Apparently she can squirt and create some sort of foam, which I was unaware existed. Unfortunately she didn't do it in the scene. So the sex starts out with the ugly ass guy going up to her on the weight bench and having his cock sucked, which she does a good job of. Then he moves down between her legs to finger fuck her and lick her, which would be pleasant except that he's so damn nasty. They go through the normal routine on the bench, mish, doggy, and mounting and Brandy finishes up with a shot to the mouth.
Candy Cotton (or as the movie lists her Cotton Candy) was busted for receiving money for sexual favors. She's an exotic dancer and she was dancing for an undercover cop at a strip club, and after he received $125 worth of lap dances she and some other strippers were arrested. If she's telling the truth she was arrested for stupid stuff, like her ass brushing up against the cops' knee and other bogus crap. Candy isn't the best-looking girl I've ever seen. She really needs a new haircut, and to stop bleaching the shit out of it. Plus she has blatantly fake tits, which I don't find especially attractive. Her most outstanding feature by far is her gigantic clit. I mean, it's fuckin' huge. I've never seen a porn star with a clit that big, I swear to you. It's about the size of a playing card. She starts off by sucking some guy off who's limp as a noodle, because I guess having some chick sit on your face and suck on you isn't enough to turn him on. Did I mention that her giant clit is plopped down right on the guy's moustache? Too bad he looks like pure trailer trash. It's probably her husband, but he needs a haircut too and he really needs to shave. The fucking starts with the husband lying on his side while her legs are spread in the air. Then she moves to rcg, giving the camera a good shot of the action, if you have any interest in watching it. They finish up doggy style and the homeless man unloads into her mouth.
Shanna McCullough was arrested for sex in a public bathroom. And no, it wasn't with George Michael. She met some guy in a mall and went into the bathroom with him, where she proceeded to bend over the toilet and get fucked. According to her, when the cop showed up to bust her, she offered to suck him off and he agreed. When he was done coming into her mouth he refused to give her a ticket. True? You be the judge. This one sounds a little far fetched to me. Shanna starts out masturbating on an ugly ass couch, and she also has huge tits. I'm not sure if they're fake or not though. They have that sagginess that makes me tend to believe they're real. She does some very convincing masturbation before her ugly ass guy comes into the room and starts eating her pussy. Amazingly enough, he also looks homeless. He has a haircut straight out of 1972, and is very unattractive. After a brief blowjob and tit fuck Shanna climbs into his lap to mount his dick. She flips around to face the camera and then gets onto her knees to take it from behind. Like the other girls she takes a shot in the mouth.
Elizabeth X and Mia were both arrested. Shocked, aren't ya? Mia was arrested for possession. Liz was arrested for, you ready for this? Speeding. Oh yeah, we got a criminal on our hands here. I'm surprised they don't have her in handcuffs the entire time. Actually I'm not too surprised that there's someone on here with a bogus arrest record. Actually, now that I think about it, Shanna from the previous scene wasn't even arrested, she just came close. Neither of these girls are especially hot. They're not too bad though, although they look sort of old and worn. Mia starts out by undressing Elizabeth and spreading her legs to suck and fuck her hole. She manages to get four fingers in there, so maybe she should get an honorary entry into the four-finger club. Before long Mia gets a dildo to use to fuck Liz, ending any enjoyment at all on my part. Mia spends about 20 minutes going down on Elizabeth. She must really enjoy eating snatch. Then they switch positions and reverse roles for the next 10 minutes. Overall a pretty good girl on girl scene, as long as you ignore the lack of originality.
There's a sort of bonus scene at the end of the movie. I'm not sure if it's a true bonus, but it didn't list it on the DVD or at the beginning of the movie. Miko Lee introduces herself and immediately starts using two vibrators on her snatch. It's very fun to watch, and completely unexpected. My appraisal of this movie just went up a notch. It only lasted about 7 minutes, but it was better than nothing, and they needed some more hot chicks in this movie anyway. Unless you really enjoy watching the stars discuss their lives, which can be entertaining, you can watch a movie with better looking people elsewhere. Keep looking.