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Title: Topless Room Service  
Reviewer: Gary  
Overall rating: C+
Female looks: B
Male looks: C+
Sex: C+
Plot/Acting: C-
Extras: n/a
A/V Quality: B
 

Review:

Topless Room Service

Reviewer- Gary

Overall Rating- C

Female Looks- B

Male Looks- C

Sex- C

Plot/Acting- D

Extras- none

A/V Quality- B

Time- 75 minutes

Company- New Machine Publishing

Director- Stuart Canterberry

Cast- Brittany Andrews, Candi Hill, Sana Fey, Rebecca Wild, Jessica Jewel, Jena, Kyle Stone, Mike Horner, Michael J. Cox and Dizzy.

Review- This movie epitomizes the thin plots that are tolerable only in the world of porn. The plot is weak and unbelievable and yet somehow it is enough to cohesively hold this DVD together. The movie is set at the Hideaway Hotel. A business that is failing and the employees do not know what to do. It's so bad that bank officers are coming to take a look at the place to see about shutting it down and selling the place. Well, as the title implies they come up with a plan to drum up rates and guests. Big titted girls bringing you room service. But it's really the guests who get serviced by the girls. But we'll get there.

This is very forgettable porn, from the girls, to the sets to the sex. The only reason this DVD got as high a rating from me as it did, and the girls as well, is because if Brittany Andrews. She is fucking HOT, HOT, HOT. Not only is she a perfect knockout but also her sex scene scorches the DVD leaving the other scenes in the movie looking cold and tame in comparison. If it weren't for her scene this whole DVD would be a waste and the over-all girl rating would drop to C. Brittany, of course, gets and A+ in my book.

We start off with Candi Hill going in the hotel pool for a little skinny-dipping action. A co-worker catches her. She wastes no time locking her hoover-lips around his engorged member and giving him some serious oral attention. She uses great hand technique and she gives us lots of nasty eye-contact. She has a pretty enough face, although she is spotted with freckles, perhaps from too many days of nude sunbathing in the southern California sun. She greedily and hungrily gobbles his hotdog before allowing him the pleasure of tasting her moist honey pot. Candy has a great body and sweet eraser-head nipples. My only real complaint is that her boob-job is pretty bad. The scar tissue is quite distracting to me. He fucks her miss and doggy before jazzing into her open, waiting mouth. Major complaint: I couldn't tell if he came or not. If he did, it was a very small, thin load that we never got to see. So much of the import of porn is on the money shot. If porn is to be measured by the quality of the money shot, then this scene hasn't a single penny to add to its money shot....meaning it was weak and poor. I would also like to thank male star of this scene for showing me why navel piercing are NOT SEXY on MEN!

Next Busty Brittany Andrews is sent in to seduce Mike Horner, Bank Loan officer, so that he can be caught in an "embarrassing" situation. Brittany is perfect for the job. She is a perfect 10, she is sexually aggressive and her sexual skills are impressive even to a jaded reviewer like myself. She looks great in the movie; blonde hair, fat dick sucking lips, seductive eyes, toned, slender tummy, long shapely legs, a nice full ass and pretty feet too. Not to mention that she is into bondage and S&M in her personal life. Growwwlll! She shows up at Mike's door, topless with her boob s and a rose on a silver tray. She walks right in and without missing a blink forces Mike onto the bed and has her way with him. She delivers a blistering blowjob. She deep throats him, spits on his cock, slurps it, licks it sucks it and totally dominates his blue-veined Havana until he is a fuck puppet at her mercy. She gives great, sexy and nasty eye-contact and is a voracious. She lets him lick her silky slit and shows off her incredible body and sex-hole for the entire world to see. He fucks her doggy, which really shows off her ass and legs, then sideways spoon, which really gives us a sweet view of her flat tummy and beautiful pumped up balloons. I know that they are bolt-ons but god damnit...they are fine, sexy and near perfect. Whoever did her tits did a fine job as there is only minimally visible scar tissue and their shape is so lovely. Finally Mike does her miss with her legs over his shoulders. He looks old in this scene and it appears that Miss Andrews is wearing him out. By the time he is almost ready to pop he looks about ready to fall over from over-exhaustion. You had your day in your prime old man but perhaps you should move over and let a young, vivacious hot stud like myself pleasure her...perhaps I might even be able to enjoy it. What a waste on an old has been! He plants his baby making formula all over her perfect tits and she loves it. God, she is hot and the heat that she brings to this scene saves the whole DVD.

Another man from the bank shows up. I guess he heard about the desperate measure the hotel was taking in order to save itself. Brittany refuses to take care of Michael J. Cox for the hotel so the manager (Kyle Stone) somehow convinces Jessica Jewel to service him. Jessica is looking nasty in this scene and I don't mean nasty in a good way. Her face looks jaded; her tits are over-inflated airbags with way too much scar tissue around the nips. In fact, even though they are healed from their operation it still looks very painful to me. The rest of her body is okay but not great. She wastes no time getting down to business with J. Cox. Her face is a little weird though not unpleasant and it lends itself to great facial expression in the midst of their horizontal bop. The rest of her body looks pretty good though. Nice ass and legs and a decent tummy. She inhales his cock delivering above average cock-sucking skills (although she could learn more than one or two things from Brittany. He fucks her missionary and then she rides the bologna pony express rcg before rolling to her side to give up her anal pleasures spoon to the Coxter. Cox plants his manly load all over her scarred up nipples and the scene comes to a close.

Next, the requisite veggie scene. Sana Fay, former aerobic instructor/ personal trainer turner porn slut gets it on by the pool with Jena. Sana Fay looks pretty good and her fuck me pump heels only add to her statuesque proportions. These two muff dive for treasure and find carnal pleasures in and through each other. This of course after they told Kyle Stone that they would never do each other and just because they wouldn't fuck him didn't mean that they weren't "straight". So much for that Kyle, they just don't like you.

In the final scene Kyle finally gets his dick wet. He is treated to a carnal romp with Rebecca Wild. She could be really hot in that white-trash slut sort of way BUT her boob job is too painful. Her nipples are stretched to the cusp human potential and the scar tissue that surrounds them is quite thick. She has a nasty (but kind of in a good way) face and the body of a succubus. She inhales Kyle's engorged member giving him some nasty and sexy oral attentions. She is aggressive as she takes complete control of his meat. He returns favor in like kind to her shaved-smooth snatch. Kyle fucks her doggy with her tits on the front counter and then missionary, which also shows off her over-silicone-stuffed funbags. God, they are flopping around so much as he jackhammers her that it looks uncomfortable. He pulls out and plants his load on her heaving hooters. Rebecca is Wild and hot in this scene and again, other than her nips she looks nasty and hot. In fact, she looks as though she has aged very little since I last saw her perform 3years ago. Man, I guess all of that surgical plastic ages well!

This DVD was disappointing to say the least. The marketing end of the DVD was great. The box cover got me excited to watch the flick. Brittany Andrews was THE saving grace of the DVD with her perfect bod, sexy face and blistering sexuality. Rebecca Wild also helps to save the DVD. With the exceptions of these two scenes this flick was forgettable. Thank God for Brittany and Rebecca (at least on this DVD).

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