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Title: Young Muff #8  
Reviewer: Gary  
Overall rating: C+
Female looks: B
Male looks: C+
Sex: C+
Plot/Acting: n/a
Extras: C+
A/V Quality: B


Young Muff 8: No Limits

Reviewer- Gary

Overall Rating- C

Female Looks- B/B-

Male Looks- C-

Sex- C+

Plot/Acting- N/A

Extras- Jump to Chapters, slideshow of still images, lots of previews and a bonus scene

A/V Quality- B

Time- Long enough!

Company- Armageddon Entertainment

Director- Turd Ferguson

Cast- Danka, Genevieve, 2 Pretty for Porn, Katrina Spanks, Brie, Turd Ferguson, Brian Surewood and two other nameless meat puppets.

Review- As a general rule I like my porn without much plot. Give me nasty, hot fucking sluts doing nasty and depraved things on camera smiling pretty and proud all the while. As a general rule, if I am looking for plot in my porn it typically is not a humorous or slapstick style that I want. Right off the bat I have my first issue with this DVD. I am not sure whether or not to take these guys seriously or whether they are just making a spoof. They attempt to (I believe) make fun of or light of Thomas Zupkos zany style of weird, bizarre and degrading porn. Though I have never seen a Zupko production (See Rog's Reviews for two Zupko DVD reviews) I get the impression that though weird and degrading they are not funny (or at least not meant to make us laugh). While Ferguson attempts to imitate in many ways some of Zupkos antics its done in an annoying, almost slap-stick-humor fashion. Couple this fact with the luke-warm sex that lacks much intensity and passion (for the most part) and we are building an equation for some pretty mediocre porn folks. Add to this equation that not all of the girls are that fine nor that enthusiastic about their "jobs" and you can see where this is going. I would also like to add that having to look at and listen to the character of Turd Ferguson is totally annoying in and of itself let alone the fact that he really takes away from potential sexiness and heat in the few scenes that had hope. He screams and wines in a loud Gilbert Godfrey type of voice just as stupid incessant crap throughout the movie...he is obnoxious, gross and annoying. Isn't that just what YOU look for in YOUR porn? NOT!!

That all being said, we start off with a little Czech cutie in pigtails. She is being forced to suck the big Turd's little piece of shit dick while he calls her names, tries to flush her head down the toilet and sprays deodorizer over her telling her how terrible she stinks. She even spits out a mouthful of liquid chocolate (supposed to be shit from Turd's dick) as he tells her what a nasty fucking whore she is. Surewood sees this and steps in presumably because he doesn't like what he sees and how Danka is being treated. Once he kicks Turd's ass and throws him off the scene, he takes over in like fashion. Degrading name-calling, threats of swirlies, warm sex with a hot girl and bad humor. There is dialogue like, "ya baby flush your fucking head down the toilet. Only 13 more flushes to go" to which Danka responds "yes I will be nice and fresh now baby". Finally Surewood blasts a load of warm man goo on Danka's sweet countenance and we move on.

There is way too much dialogue between Turd and Brian Surewood up next. Neither Surewood nor Ferguson is good to look at and neither can act. Why we spend near 10 minutes watching these two try to have a serious dialogue scene escapes me. It's a cold downer and a waste of DVD space. Turd calls in his secretary, Genevieve, to demonstrate some camera techniques to Surewood. He manipulates his secretary into having sex on camera even after she clearly voices that she has no desire to be on camera. Okay, now no desire to expose any parts of herself on camera. Okay now she has no desire to have sex on camera. Okay, now she is a limitless fuck slut who will do anything on camera! You get the sappy point, right? Good. Genevieve is cute but not very good-looking. She does an adequate job of playing fuck slut and takes Brian's load on her chin. What a good girl! Turd will be sure to remember you for Secretary's week I am sure.

The next scene stars a nameless cock and once again Brian Surewood. It's a scene in an ally where these two DP a black chick named "2 Pretty 4 Porn" which is a serious contradiction in terms. First of all she is not pretty. She is barely average and adequate. I would say that if she stuck her lips around my cock and I closed my eyes she might get me hard but out of ALL the porn I have ever seen she gave about the lamest head I have ever witnessed on camera or otherwise! Wow! Now that is a claim to fame. The scene was probably the worst in the DVD; unattractive stars, really poor BJ skills, luke-warm sex and more of Turd's antics. Enough said; at least she takes it on the face like a good little slut by the end of the scene.

We then have the misfortune of seeing Turd rap about himself in a "making of a rap video" scene. Rap is in my opinion a terrible musical form and Turd takes it to new heights of lameness and patheticness. The sex that ensues in this scene is the hottest of the movie. It's a near orgy starring Katrina Spanks and Brie. I am not sure which is which but they are both real cute. The brunette (I think Spanks) has pierced nipples, which I find very sexy. They are by far the sexiest MF's in the flick and they take on their three cocks very nicely. They go through some great and creative positions before inevitably all three guys jizz on their sweet faces. Although the girls don't look as if they thoroughly enjoyed their facials I guess that is part of the degradation of facial cum shots that we all love so much in porn.

The Bonus scene includes Shawna Edwards (who looks better than the last two times I saw her but I still don't like) and what appears to be a gracefully aging Amber Lynn. Man I remember her from when I was like 14 and started watching daddy's porn. She is aging well and looking and sucking and fucking great. I would take that slut over all of those younger chicks in this DVD any day!




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